CHOCOLAGRAMS

A chocolagram is an anagram that reveals the underlying Milk Tray Approach in a brand, variety or characteristic of chocolates.  Taking its name from the British TV ads that ran from 1968 – 2016 in which a daredevil James Bond-type risked waterfalls, avalanches and sharks etc to bring his lady a box of chocolates, the Milk Tray Approach is the romantic but not-so-innocent interpretation of chocolates – all rose petals, mood-lighting, Moonlight Serenade, and more than a whiff of sex.

Although the name comes from Cadbury’s best-selling assortment, the Milk Tray Approach has been used to promote chocolates ever since they were first mass-marketed. So pervasive, indeed so persuasive has the Milk Tray Approach been, it is almost impossible to view chocolates in any other way. Pick a strapline from any chocolate advert from the past eight or nine decades and chances are it will be written in the language of the Milk Tray Approach:

‘Lead me into temptation.’ Thorntons

‘It’s just you, your mouth, and Aero.’ Aero

‘May contain traces of Ooooooooooh and Mmmmmmmmm’ Aero Truffle

‘Increase her interest rate.’ Green & Black’s

‘For heightened pleasure.’ Galaxy Ripple

‘Are you a chocolate sinner? Get your redemption.’ Ferrero Rocher

As with all anagrams some meanings take longer to uncover than others, but it is significant that words such as lace, bra and thong are so frequently found in chocolagrams. It reflects the extent to which chocolates have embraced the language of seduction; it feeds the notion that chocolates have aphrodisiac properties; and it demonstrates how richly symbolic chocolates can be. Whereas the ribbons, tissue layers, and little frilly cups of chocolate packaging are symbolic of the pretty underwear we have to, ‘undress’ to get to the sweetness underneath, the little swirls, waves, diamonds and scallops etc. used to differentiate one soft centre from another are redolent of the decorative edging so often found on lingerie.

These examples provide a taster of what messages in chocolagrams can reveal:

 

Honeycomb Ingots = boo! My nice thongs

Whole Almond Delight = thong made wild hello

House of Dorchester = ooh, her soft seducer

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Gauzy tissue layer or symbol of a pretty bra? What do the chocolagrams say?

Verbena Ganache = a bra change, even?

Bag of Maltesers = Gale’s soft ‘me’ bra

Chocolate Almonds = smooth? no, lace-clad

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Pretty packaging being ‘undressed’ before we get to the sweetness underneath?

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After Eights = great fetish

‘Life begins after eight’ = if the negligée / bra fits

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Black Magic Selection = citing some black lace

Nestlé Dairy Box = a sexily torn bed

Raspberry Parfaits = a stripper’s F bra, Ray

Turkish Temptation = think: a smuttier top

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A Chocolate Orange = echo to a carnal ego

Box of Terry’s All Gold = got foxy Loll’s red bra

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Thorntons Continental = lo! instant horn content

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Whether the insights from chocolagrams are playful, ironic or just downright saucy, there’s often the sense that, rather than discovering something new they are only revealing what is already there. Chocolagramming is like pulling back the sheets, as it were, to reveal who or what is lying underneath. The sheets pulled back from Cadbury’s Milk Tray, for example, reveal just what it was about the little blue box that made the Milk Tray Man so determined to deliver them.

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Chocolagrams from the words ‘Cadbury’s Milk Tray’ include:

hid my bra at Lucky’s

try dark, saucy limb

a busty lady, Mr Rick?

barmaid’s luck try

dusk lit my lacy bra

try a lacy bum’s, Dirk

ma lady’s trick rub

And of the chocolates themselves, we currently have these:

Orange Truffle = go freer, flaunt!

A Hazelnut Swirl = ah, untwirls zeal

The Fudge Duet = uh, tufted edge

A Perfect Praline = nipple aftercare

The Caramel Softy = felt a creamy shot

Strawberry Temptations = bra & panties test Mr Trowy

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All chocolates can be anagrammed for their seductive interpretations, high-end, low-end, and everything in between. These are a selection from Rococo’s ganaches:

Blackcurrent & Violet = bra content lured Kevin

Red Berry Madagascar = May’s racy red bra dare

Anglesey Seasalt Caramel = carnal legs tease male, say

The Almond Cluster = lust calmed her not!

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Lindt Selection = O! still indecent

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Bendicks of Mayfair = OK, I fancy M’s fair bed

Chocolate Mint Crisp = come, pinch coral tits

By Royal Appointment = note, amply pointy bra

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Looking to explore the subject more?

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CHOCOLAGRAMS – The Secret Language of Chocolates, takes examples from a vaiety of chocolates, past and present, national and international, cheap and expensive, to show how widespread the phenomenon of chocolagrams is. The sheer variety of hidden messages in chocolates is a revelation. This little book (84 pages) would make ideal reading for anyone thinking of gifting chocolates to their loved ones. You wouldn’t like to send the wrong message would you?

CHOCOLAGRAMS – The Secret Language of Chocolates is available for immediate delivery from Amazon and Lulu.com.